


An atomatonic tonic

by Spider_Dork



Series: Tiny bits [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Steampunk, Other, Robots, Steampunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:54:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spider_Dork/pseuds/Spider_Dork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter is a steam powered robot secretly manning Parker Robotics Repair. One day some Sketchy men say they need a robot repaired</p><p>Tbot X-11, code name Dead-Pool</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. X-11 needs repairs

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY THIS SUCKS BUT IT'S GOING TO BE ADORABLY AWESOME
> 
> I think

Peter Looked up from his desk as the front door’s bell rang. Wonderful! Another costumer! The copper robot shuffled over, tipping his hat in calculated, albeit jerky motions. Three men walked in with scowls on their faces. 

“We’re here to see the engineer?” The Man in front said, scowl deepening as he surveyed Peter.

‘You can see him now,’ Peter wanted to say, but it is not in his programming to be so rude. 

“The engineer is extremely busy, I take and make the appointments,” He states, forcing a small smile on his metal face.

“The ‘Spider man’ doesn’t seem to be very professional.” The man sneers, already thinking of leaving.

“I’m told all the geniuses tend to hide away? M-m-m-m-” Click, vocal replicators are acting up again. “Maybe it’s just a thing?”

“Yes, I suppose.” The man huffs. “I need a high priority repair and I need it kept quiet, how do I trust a robot?”

Well you’d trust a human, Peter don’t be rude… “I do not have memory banks sir, after today all I will remember is the number and order of the repair, and the engineer does not talk about his repairs.” Luckily nothing in his programing said he couldn’t lie.

“Fine! it’s settled, I have a highly unconventional robot I need repaired in at least a week, preferably 2 days, think your creator can handle it?” The man looked much happier, if the lack of a death stare meant he was happier.

“Noted, But the engineer is not my creator, the engineer is my creator’s son.” His metallic voice rang out. Hey it was a half truth, his creator always said he considered him as a son.

That was the reason he was built, Richard Parker couldn’t have children.

“Can he do it or not?” 

“Yes, he can, in a week.” Peter answered, the only other repair he had was a toaster, he could repair whatever it was in a few days at most.

“Good, I’m not doing paperwork, tomorrow the bot will be delivered and next Thursday we’ll come back and if he’s not repaired we’ll kill your engineer and burn this place to the ground.” the man said turning around and the – apparently body guards- marched out with him.

Peter should have kept his mouth shut. 

 

The next day Peter was trying to look at a pet robotic squirrel a college student had made for his girlfriend when the front door’s bell rang.

Alright, lock your joints, blank robotic face, and jerkily walk out of the back room, releasing more steam than necessary or even deemed wise. Hiding your articulation sucks.

One of the severe men from yesterday was there with a big crate. 

“This is Tbot X-11, Code named Dead-Pool, Your Engineer is to repair him or else. Tell him good luck.” the man said and smiled, gently flicking Peter’s hat.

“Is T-11 in bad shape?” Peter asks inspecting the box.

“He’s half melted and missing 2 limbs, the blueprints are inside the crate.” the man says and walks out the door.

“Ok, to work.” the copper bot hums to himself, easily lifting the man sized crate and taking it into the back room, avoiding various spare parts, disassembled robots and miniature spiderbots that skitter around the building. Peter had a spider phase and “The engineer” got called the “Spider Man” because there were so many. But they can be helpful.

Peter gently set the grate down and walked over to the work bench, removing the small squirrel and placing it in a box marked “In”. He walked over to the crate and tentatively opened the top, on the underside of the wooden panel was a taped bag of blueprints. Wonderful. He placed the blueprints on the table, quickly flipping through them, wait.

This robot was one of a kind. it’s arms were equipped with a welding torch and it was programmed to fix and weld itself back together when a superficial tear happened, and more intense problems sometimes going as far as replacing vital parts inside it. 

It was also a mercenary bot, This is why Peter SHOULD HAVE ACTED LIKE A STUPID ROBOT AND DECLINED!

Enough ranting. The copper robot inspected the box and a panel which appears to be the front unlatches and falls forward, showing a very damaged robot strapped inside.

it’s missing an arm and ¾ of a leg, main processors are shot and several boilers and hydraulic systems were punctured.

This was more than a repair job.

The metal shell was warped and covered in welding scars, criscrosing and mashing together with various metals, probably whatever X-11 hand handy like, to form an over all horrific look.

But Peter wasn’t here to stare at the scars, he’s here to repair it.,

He had to wrestle the bot onto the workbench and huffed, steam pouring out of his vents, his water was low, most of the effort in getting the miscellaneous metaled robot onto the table, Wait was that part of a food can? 

“You my friend are a pain in the ass.”


	2. Edgar the squirrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter building thingies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this at midnight so if it's terrible my bad
> 
> {NO blame it on doughnuts}
> 
> Why? I don't even like donuts?
> 
> {BLASPHEMY!!}

Peter stared at the blueprints for the arm he was supposed to rebuild...

HOW DID THEY FIT A WELDING TORCH IN HIS ARM?! Granted the masculine structure was so that they could fit a ton of extra shit in without it looking too inhuman.

Eh, he'll do that after the leg...

He stares at the blueprints for the leg and wished for a robot equivalent to coffee.

Ok skipping leg, processors and hardware damage, ahh, a dent and a couple holes in the head will do that.

Peter peeled off what used to be a control panel and tinkered a bit.

Easy fix, no damage to memory databases, basic physical functions cut off but not permanently, he can fix it up by closing time, but the melting damage and puncture wounds would need to be addressed before powering it up.

He keeps calling X-11 an it... as if he isn't a robot too.

The copper robot clanked around until past closing time, replacing two pressurized water tanks and a hydraulics valve. Not much of the badly melted shell was salvageable around the torso and thighs so he'd have to find new plates to use. Ugh this is so hard.

Peter decided to turn in for the night, throwing off his hat and staring at himself in the little mirror in the office. Copper face smudged with oil and grease, synthetic hair messed up and wild, visible gears turning faster than they should be, he turned around and hooked himself up to different hoses and lines and laid back against a small alcove. Robotic spiders ranging from a tiny garden spider sized to large dog sized gathered around.

"Good night guys." They took care of him while he was asleep. Or rather off, they make sure he's in top shape for work tomorrow.

The room went dark before Peter went offline.

 

The copper robot woke up, more refreshed than before, must have been low on something. It was approximately 7:35 AM, the shop wouldn't open for a few hours, he had to work on that robot. X-11 he corrected himself.

More melted shell was removed and most of the hydraulics were replaced, Peter started on the processors when he noticed an adio receptor was out.

He's fresh out of those.

It's past time to open.

He needs an assistant... if course that's what he was pretending to be, who'd trust a stream powered automaton to run a business, luckily a friend of the family was "running" it for him.

Peter threw on his hat and a fresh shirt and opened the store, sliding back into the back room to quickly finish the squirrel he forgot about. He just finished and was looking for a spare cog he dropped when the door bell rang.

Peter straightened up with a series of pops and hissing steam bursts ands walked out to meet the customer, a mousey girl who had brought in the squirrel.

"I-i know you said it would be a few days but I just want to check on Edgar..." she stuttered, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Actually, he just finished it, would you like me to bring him out?"

"Oh yes please!" The way her eyes sparkled made tinkering with the tiny rodent model worth it.

Girl reunited with her squirrel who happily buzzed to life she paid for it and went on her way.

What was he doing before? working on X-11, he tinkered around for a few seconds before "where's that cog?! Oh yeah..." And back to crawling on the floor it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, crawling around looking for shit, my life ..


	3. The salvage yard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter needs parts.
> 
> A glimpse (?) into the steampunk new York
> 
> (Sorry for typos, I cannot English today...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! I made a thing :3
> 
> {Not very creative}
> 
> Shut up Bill
> 
> {Is that your new catchphrase?}

Peter clanked around inside the large robot until the growing list of needed parts stopped, for now.

He couldn't afford the hardware store or some of the boiler places, so to the salvage yard it is.

Engineers and tinkerers trade parts, damaged or irreparable robots are sold for parts, whole robots are sold, old mister Wong sells parts he's had since forever and runs a pawnshop of sorts.

it's dangerous for a robot to go alone, he could get ambushed and chopped for parts... if he wasn't known throughout the area as the Spider man's android.

He was created with spare parts by the world's leading robotics engineer until the day he died, no one would dare lay a hand on him.

Strange men from out of town don't know this.

 

Peter closed up shop with a "gone to the scrap yard, be back soon" sign on the door. He navigated the streets and tipped his hat to the ladies, blew steam for curious kids, and posed with tourists.

New York was the center of robotics in the US,

What with Tony Stark's main tower being here and all. Most robots outside of these capitals of engineering marvels only have simple robots, go here, fetch this, do that. Rarely are there stream powered robots with artificial intelligence.

Like Peter, and Peter was a beautiful specimen.

Walking through the salvage yard was a breeze, say hello to Sally and see if she had vacuum tubes, Bill had some discount audio and photo receptors, old mister Wong had the plate metal he could use to repair the chest, there were two damaged robots for free and Peter decided he could fix up one. A simple creature, no memory banks, basic vocal replicators, perfect for another Secretary that won't squeal on him.

He still couldn't find the pumps he needed.

He had to go to the chop shop again... 

"HEY Peter! Who's my favorite robot?" The burly man bellowed apon Peter's arrival, 

"Mary is, and you know it" the copper bot quipped, walking over to the piles of spare parts.

"Hah! Watch your mouth you pile of scrap. You here for parts or got a robot to give me?" Rodger always got to business. He was currently eyeing up the robot in his cart.

Rule #3 of the salvage yard, take a cart with you, Peter made a collapsible one for these occasions. And maybe he should have brought a spider...

"Just some parts Rodger, there's a free robot out there if you want it though." He replied, looking for the pumps and tubing he needs.

"Gerald, do your rounds. Looking for something specific ya giant waking penny."

"Yes," Peter hissed, stream releasing slowly as he bends down to insect a boiler. "I need to repair a hydraulics system, what's the best you got?" Rodger knows. He doesn't need to pretend.

"Ahh, well," the man lumbers over. "I've got some weird thingies that looked like a water system, and a good one at that but we have no idea how to separate it from the wreck."

Another bot to take home, wonderful... The bot was complicated, but the big brutish fingers wouldn't be able to reach into the hull where small latches were in place.

"If you can find a way to open that up I'll give you the water system."

That was too easy. "You shouldn't have said that Rodger," click click click, hidden panels open and the water system along with several thousand dollar parts pop up and are quite easily removed.

"There you are, any thing else or can I take the water system and leave?"

Rodger just nodded as he cradled a piece easily worth a fifty thousand or more.

Peter could steal the ground from under him and he wouldn't notice.

The copper robot walked back to the shop with enough spare parts to build a few robots and he barely fit through the back door.

Oh well, back to the mangled mess of a robot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> {With you writing it? Unlikely}
> 
> Shut the Fuck up Bill
> 
> {I'm just giving you a hard time}


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if we can't wake him up this chapter.

Peter slumped against a desk in the office, it was midnight, he was refilling his water tanks again and he couldn't seem to power down.

I mean he could but he needs that damn robot fixed asap.

Hissing And sputtering he stood up and untangled himself from the pump. He whistled while he worked, he'd replaced the broken hydraulics with the water system, drawn up blueprints for any changes he made just so future repairs can be made based on them (or to tell the men what he screwed up) 

He finished the processors in the head and the audio receptors were fine, he supposed he needed to power it up.

Filling it with water, pull lines working, steam hissed around Peter and if he had flesh it would be scalded, sealing up a minor leak and crack he heard the robotic brain whirring and gears started turning.

Small blue lights behind metal eyelids lit up and the eyes opened, moving to look at Peter.

The bot's one arm was around the copper bot's throat and squeezing before Peter could think.

He quickly flicked the latch on the back of the mercenary bot's head open and manually shut him down.

'Uuugh' Peter tried to say, oh no, he pried the thick metal fingers off his neck and ran to the mirror in the office.

Dents and a tear in his neck, if that robot kept it up he'd be gone.

The damage was mostly superficial, a couple oil lines severed, more mess than a problem, the vocal replicators were damaged but could be replaced until he fixes them...

He liked his voice ok?

After repairing himself he went back to the X-11 and disconnected all motor functions below the neck... Just in case.

 

And he himself shut down. The spiders would take care of him.

 

 

We was woken up by a frantic spider calling a distress signal.

And then the audio came online

"YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!! WHERE THE FUCKING HELL AM I?!"

X-11 is awake it seems.

Peter walked out into the room to see a small army of spiders cowering from the mangled robot trying to escape with only his face.

He hasn't moved an inch.

"YOU! Where's your master?! I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!!"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Peter tried patiently. Looking around for the hip joint he was to put in today.

"What are you? A fucking shrink? I got blown up, woke up here with some creepy guy standing over me, almost killed him- score!- when I got turned off, and then I woke up with a metal SPIDER ON ME AND THOSE THINGS ARE CREEPIER THAN THE REAL ONES." X-11 says, glaring at the group of spiders, who get even more terrified. "Now how about you sweet cheeks? How'd you end up in this guy's lab?"

Peter smiled, he could always wipe this guy's memory... blame it on the explosion. Okay he'd never do that but eh. "This is my workshop, I'm a robot repair android. And that creepy guy standing over you was me, you weren't abducted, some sketchy guys dropped you off and I had to rebuild half of your body."

X-11 gasped and turned his head towards Peter.  
"Oh! How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Peter grabbed the mercenary bot's shoulders and lifted him up, setting him in a sitting position on the bench, back against the wall. "Well you're chest has new plate metal-" X-11 looked down and stared in awe.

"And I'm just about to replace the hip joint and hydraulics for your lost leg-"

"THEY DELIVERED ME NAKED?!"

"Uh, if you hadn't noticed? You're a robot and not anatomically correct. You're fine."

"What kinda lady do you think I am? Uh- mister!"

Peter smiled, "I'm Peter, and I'll be rebuilding you if you don't try to kill me again."

"Well hello Peter nice to meet you and YOUR HAND IS COLD!" Peter looked down at his and on the other bot's hip. "You can't feel my hand..." "Yeah but it was funny"

Peter sighed and popped the hip joint into place and picked up some of the hydraulics pipes.

"So doc why haven't you fixed my arm?"

The copper robot looked up at the other, "well I can't seem to figure out how to rebuild it, and no one around here would be able to so-"

"Did you try asking me?"

"Huh?" Peter asked looking up again.

"Did you ask me? I have detailed instructions on how to repair myself programmed in, I might know." The large bot said turning it's head, 

"I didn't think about that X-11, thank you."

"Call me Wade."

"Ok Wade, nice to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Wade starts hitting on him <3.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes aunt May just found out :) no she's not Mary Jane's biological grandmother but that's just how it turned out sorry...
> 
> Later she'll be all "oh just call me aunt May,"
> 
> And Peter around be all "oh.... ok...."

Peter was tinkering with the newly built knee when the mangled robot spoke up once again.

"Hey doc, while you're down there can you make me anatomically correct?"

"Wh-what?" Peter stammered looking up at the mangled face.

"Oh can your make it purple? And sparkly? OH AND IT SHOULD VIBRATE!"

"That's Not anatomically correct! And why on earth would you need a dick?!" The copper bot interrupted.

"Oh baby, I'll always need one as long as you have someplace for me to put it."

Steam was pouring out of Peter's vents and he was sure his hydraulic pump was malfunctioning.

Not good

Peter stood up and stormed off, he needed to repair his voice box anyway.

"Oh no! Come baaaaaack!" Wade wailed. "I'm sorry! I only meant it a little! Ok a lot but he doesn't need to know that."

Peter just sat at his desk and pulled out his smaller tools, used for delicate parts like the vocal replicators... small clicks and tinkers filled the silence. Or what's left of it.

"Hey can I have some music? A crossword puzzle? Comics? Something? I'M DYING OF BOREDOM!!!"

The copper bot sighed and picked up an old newspaper. "The spiders will hold it for you-" 

"NOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!! I wanna move by myself!" The mangled robot wiggled his head, trying to move.

"Promise not to try to kill me or touch me unless I say so." Peter insisted.

"I promise not to touch you without your permission, and I could never kill such a beautiful face" the larger bot promised.

"Do you always flirt with your handlers? Or is it just the young robots?" Peter asked reaching behind Wade's head to flip the latch.

"Just you baby boy"

"Oh I bet you say that to all the ones you meet." The copper bot quipped with a smirk.

"No, I don't meet many like yoouuUU'RE INSIDE ME!"The mangled robot yelled and fumbled over his words when he got a glare.

"Not dirty! Head out of the gutter! Your fingers feel weird... -in me! No my head! I WAS NOT MADE FOR PG 13!!!"

Peter smiled and reconnected a few lines and wires. Slamming the latch shut he stood back. "Can you move anything?"

Wade rotated his shoulder where he was missing an arm and lifted the other one. He kicked out with his full leg and lifted the other one.

"All good here doc!" He said happily, wiggling around in the work bench.

A large metal spider dropped from the ceiling beside Peter.

"HOLY JESUS FUCK WHAT IS THAT DOING HERE?!"

Peter crouched next to it and listened to the whistles and clicks the spiders use to communicate and sent it in its way.

" I have a customer and you were too loud for me to hear the bell." Peter explains, walking into the office and coming out with a clean shirt.

"You run this business?" Wade asked, eyes wide.

"Yes but secretly, I say I work for an engineer and he does all the work, I pretend to be the Secretary."

"Well that's convoluted..."

"Wade I don't have time for this." The copper bot rushed out into the front room, but not fast enough to miss the "see ya later sweet cheeks!"

An old lady and her daughter were staring at the piles of complicated looking but entirely useless spare parts.

Peter made a grinding noise, similar to a human clearing their throat. The two women spun around.

"Oh it's the robot you see around the scrap yard!" The lady said to the girl, looking about 15 or so.

"That's Peter grandmother, he's the engineer's helper, I think he fetches things and mans the shop" the girl mutters back.

Do they know Peter can hear them?

"Anything I can help you with ladies?" The copper bot asks, smiling politely.

"Oh well yes, I should like to speak with the engineer, about an apprenticeship for my girl here." The woman days bluntly, standing up tall and proud. She probably thinks she's gonna get what she wants.

"The ah engineer is not here but-"

He didn't even finish when a one legged robot hopped out the door and squealed.

"There you are sugar plumb! I've been looking everywhere!" Wade yelled, crashing bodily into the copper robot who caught him.

"X-11, the engineer will deal with you later but you need to get back on the table and wait for him!" Peter sternly commands the mangled robot with a glare.

"Oh my," the woman says and the girl giggles.

"Let us help you dear, Peter was it? " The lady asks and she and the girl pick up Wade who yelped, and took him into the back room.

This was a rather weird development.

"Oh grandmother! These blueprints!"  
Aw shit

Peter rushed I'm and took all the blueprints, hiding them in a cabinet.

"The engineer does not like people in his space!" He insisted, leaning next to Wade where they set him on the table.

The girl and the lady looked around at the mess the oil stains and looked at each other for a few seconds.

"There is no engineer." They say in sync.

"W-what?" Peter sputters, eyes widening.

"Oh honey, there hasn't been a human back here for years! Poor you! No one to take care of you!" The lady says with a sad frown.

"I can take care of myself... Peter says looking down. Wade starts laughing.

"Even robots need love, however the fact that you learned how to build and repair robots is incredible!" The woman continues,   
"Amazing!" The granddaughter adds.

Wade just keeps laughing, rickety hollow booming but it was a laugh.

"I'm the engineer and I'll think about the apprenticeship, just write down where to find you when I choose. And please don't tell anybody."

"Mary please write down our information, " the lady says and walks closer to Peter. "How long has the Spider-Man been dead?"

Peter just raised his head. "You're looking at him."

Wade has stopped laughing.

The lady smiled and patted Peter's cheek. "If you need anything just call ok?"

"Nana May, are we leaving now?"

"Yes Mary Jane, your mother needs us home for tea, but I think there's an ice cream parlor-"

"I'm too old for that to work but it still does..."

Peter listened to the women leaving. This was a weird day.

"You're the spider man?" Wade asks in awe.

Oh no...

**Author's Note:**

> THANKS FOR READING
> 
> {A lot of caps today}
> 
> It's to hide my severe depression
> 
> {Damn, you're a happy camper}
> 
> Shut up Bill


End file.
